v-n3e

Friends..

2010-06-26T02:13:00.002-07:00

Another post about friendship since the last time i wrote about "strangers..friends.. and enemies.."

Today i want to talk about "Close Friends"

I wonder.. how could you ever call yourself as my friend, when u never trust me?

Here i am, being such an idiot all this time thinking that you're gonna be my close friend..

well, i guess the truth failed me again...

I thought being friends don't just means that we have to be close, hang out together all the time, gossips and tell secrets..

i thought it means trust..

All these time you telling me how good friends we were and now you're telling me you believed it when someone said i back-stab you?

all these time you telling me how close we were and this is the strength for our relationship?

you didn't even bother to ask me..

you just jump into conclusion of how bad i am as a friend just because someone told you so?

Or did you always had in mind that im such person?

so that's the reason why you didn't seem surprised at all?

I know i will doubt if someone told me the same thing about you..

good heavens... i cant believe i will ever hear this from you..

31.07.2009

2009-07-31T02:44:00.002-07:00

I'm going to be myself again..
stuck inside my own darkness..
I'm going to hide myself from reality,
so that i could stay in my happiness..

I'm going to run away from responsibilities,
i don't want to be an adult,
I'm going to be a naive kid,
forever, never wanting to grow up..

I'm going to cry all i want,
just as long as im sad,
I'm going to shout all i could,
so loud that im not holding back..

I'm going to be me once more,
It's just where i belong..
i'm going to take off all my masks,
everything including make ups..

I'm just gonna be me...

But being me isn't that fun either..
Cause i got bothered all the time..
I always wanted things to go perfectly,
though i knew things wont turn out fine..

I'm always trying too hard..
and trying too hard always suffocates me..
I'm always trying to make things right,
but things will always be different, you see..

I'm just a failure..

I am different from how you see,
I'm not the girl, so fun to be..

Do you know how it feels
to bring bad luck to people you love?
Do you know how it feels
to just make everyone hurt?

You think being me is nice..
because i do well in my studies..
you said you wanted to be me,
based on just what you see..

the kind of life that i have gone through..
you never even once try to understand..
you never even try to understand me..
and yet you call yourself as my friend..

Happy Birthday To Me..

2009-07-15T04:35:00.000-07:00

Okay.. so my birthday was nothing much different than my usual, normal day..
I guess I've expected too much..
Woke up at around 6a.m , i was late. Dad was grumbling about me being late and that my school bus will be here soon. I miss mum's birthday breakfast :'(

Lazily, i woke up, and get myself ready for school. Still in a sleepy mood.
I then went to my usual place to wait for my school bus.
Just as I sit down and took my headphones to plug into my phone to listen to songs,
suddenly someone sat beside me..

O.O!!!!

It was Kavein.. "what is he doing here?"
I looked at him, holding a lunch box. He cooked me spaghetti!! ahh..~
That's what i love about my bf, someone who can cook! hahaha..
So, he came down from mile 7 to my home to accompany me to school.
That was nice, except that he kept telling me he wasn't having enough sleep because he had to wake up so early to cook for me and come down to find me.
He kept on repeating repeating and repeating from the moment he sat beside me until we reached school.
Still, thanks for the food, dear!

After having my sweet loving breakfast,i went back to my class and i was kinda expecting my friends to wish me happy birthday and i would have to keep smiling until my lips hurt.
But i was wrong. When i entered class, i saw a paper bag on my table with a present on it. My class neighbour, Gwen , gave it to me. It was a worm doll, though it looked like a dinosaur to me.
She said that i was like a worm, so lazy... >.<
Besides her, no one actually remembered my birthday.
And so, my time at school passes by as usual...

After school, celebration? Hahaha.. i thought so too,at 1st, but oops! wrong guessing again.
Back home after school and thought that i would be going to mile 4 to meet my bf and then we will go have fun together. playing games or whatever.
But no..What in fact happened is that he said he's coming down to find me.
I've waited so long that i'm starting to feel hungry already. Just as i started cooking, he came.
I asked him to come in but he refuse. Then he waited until i finish my lunch.

We went out to town and our first stop is Hawaii. We're going there for lunch because he wants to eat there. So I accompanied him. We were there until 3pm++ then it started the rain.
My mood was totally spoiled. There's nothing much we can do with it raining.
I wasn't really pleased. So after lunch , we walk around awhile and then head back home.

There's really things that im not happy about later on, but.. I really don't feel like talking about it anymore. Anyhow.. i just want to say, this year's birthday is SOOOO NOTHING SPECIAL. I didn't even get to buy myself a cake on my birthday.

wELcoMe To A New BegiNning..

2009-07-12T06:18:00.000-07:00

I'm having....

a NEW perception of life..

a NEW perception of love.....

and NOW... I'm having a NEW BLOG!!

Muahahaha! Welcome!~

I'm starting a whole new after this upcoming birthday!

I.. Have Decided...To Be...

.....

..
..
.

MYSELF!!!!!

No Hiding..

No Faking...

Not Under Any Masks..!!