Tell me.. do i look like GOD?
you think im miss know-it-all?
Why must i satisfy everyone?
Why are you all full of requests?
Why cant you all just shut up!
You all will never be satisfied!
No matter how i change, no matter what i do..
How could i possibly satisfy everyone?

Want to know what's wrong with me?
Here goes :-


I try to be nice, and ppl takes advantage of me..
and becoz of that, ppl says im stupid..
they say i have to change...

I try to be quiet, and ppl says i have zero social level..
they say i have to change..

I try to be more socialise, and i talk more, but ppl says im too talkative,
scare away everyone..
I should be more lady like.. i should talk softly..
i should change..

I try to talk softly, and be more like a girl, but ppl fail to hear me..
they say i talk like an ant..
I should be louder, unless how to expect ppl to hear?
I should change...

I try not to care about others, ppl say i know nothing,
I should get to know ppl more, know things around me..
I should change..

I try to help others when they're in problem,
they think im acting kind..
they say i shouldnt bother so much..
I should change..

I try to be like how they want be to be..
but someone said im just too fake..
I try to be my own true self,
ppl also say im fake..

I try to forget what bad things other did to me,
ppl say im stupid,
when i remember what they did,
ppl say i have no forgiveness, and i should change..

when i ask what happen, ppl dun wan tell me..
when i ask some more..ppl say im annoying..
i should change, give them some space and time alone..

when i not bother and dun ask, ppl not happy coz i no ask,
say i dun care them.. say i should change..
i should show some love and care..

when i listen and do what A says..
B may dislike..
when i listen to what B says,
A may dislike..

When either of them dislikes,
i'll be the one to be blame..

im being inconsiderate..
im being unkind..
im being no help..
im useless...
im giving nothing but trouble,
im just a burden to u all,
im just a foolish girl,
a naive one indeed..
im just someone who should exist,
only when u want me...
im just someone who should vanish from this world,
when u no longer need me..

Some appreciation PLEASE?
No.. never expect anything from anyone..

I'm wrong no matter what i do..
im not accepted no matter who i be,
let me introduce u, to no one but me,
welcome to my world, to reality

I'm going to be myself again..
stuck inside my own darkness..
I'm going to hide myself from reality,
so that i could stay in my happiness..

I'm going to run away from responsibilities,
i don't want to be an adult,
I'm going to be a naive kid,
forever, never wanting to grow up..

I'm going to cry all i want,
just as long as im sad,
I'm going to shout all i could,
so loud that im not holding back..

I'm going to be me once more,
It's just where i belong..
i'm going to take off all my masks,
everything including make ups..

I'm just gonna be me...

But being me isn't that fun either..
Cause i got bothered all the time..
I always wanted things to go perfectly,
though i knew things wont turn out fine..

I'm always trying too hard..
and trying too hard always suffocates me..
I'm always trying to make things right,
but things will always be different, you see..

I'm just a failure..

I am different from how you see,
I'm not the girl, so fun to be..

Do you know how it feels
to bring bad luck to people you love?
Do you know how it feels
to just make everyone hurt?

You think being me is nice..
because i do well in my studies..
you said you wanted to be me,
based on just what you see..

the kind of life that i have gone through..
you never even once try to understand..
you never even try to understand me..
and yet you call yourself as my friend..

Okay.. so my birthday was nothing much different than my usual, normal day..
I guess I've expected too much..
Woke up at around 6a.m , i was late. Dad was grumbling about me being late and that my school bus will be here soon. I miss mum's birthday breakfast :'(

Lazily, i woke up, and get myself ready for school. Still in a sleepy mood.
I then went to my usual place to wait for my school bus.
Just as I sit down and took my headphones to plug into my phone to listen to songs,
suddenly someone sat beside me..


O.O!!!!


It was Kavein.. "what is he doing here?"
I looked at him, holding a lunch box. He cooked me spaghetti!! ahh..~
That's what i love about my bf, someone who can cook! hahaha..
So, he came down from mile 7 to my home to accompany me to school.
That was nice, except that he kept telling me he wasn't having enough sleep because he had to wake up so early to cook for me and come down to find me.
He kept on repeating repeating and repeating from the moment he sat beside me until we reached school.
Still, thanks for the food, dear!

After having my sweet loving breakfast,i went back to my class and i was kinda expecting my friends to wish me happy birthday and i would have to keep smiling until my lips hurt.
But i was wrong. When i entered class, i saw a paper bag on my table with a present on it. My class neighbour, Gwen , gave it to me. It was a worm doll, though it looked like a dinosaur to me.
She said that i was like a worm, so lazy... >.<
Besides her, no one actually remembered my birthday.
And so, my time at school passes by as usual...

After school, celebration? Hahaha.. i thought so too,at 1st, but oops! wrong guessing again.
Back home after school and thought that i would be going to mile 4 to meet my bf and then we will go have fun together. playing games or whatever.
But no..What in fact happened is that he said he's coming down to find me.
I've waited so long that i'm starting to feel hungry already. Just as i started cooking, he came.
I asked him to come in but he refuse. Then he waited until i finish my lunch.

We went out to town and our first stop is Hawaii. We're going there for lunch because he wants to eat there. So I accompanied him. We were there until 3pm++ then it started the rain.
My mood was totally spoiled. There's nothing much we can do with it raining.
I wasn't really pleased. So after lunch , we walk around awhile and then head back home.

There's really things that im not happy about later on, but.. I really don't feel like talking about it anymore. Anyhow.. i just want to say, this year's birthday is SOOOO NOTHING SPECIAL. I didn't even get to buy myself a cake on my birthday.

I'm having....

a NEW perception of life..

a NEW perception of love.....



and NOW... I'm having a NEW BLOG!!


Muahahaha! Welcome!~

I'm starting a whole new after this upcoming birthday!

I.. Have Decided...To Be...


.....

..
..
.

MYSELF!!!!!


No Hiding..

No Faking...

Not Under Any Masks..!!